Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
