When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
