Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
