I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize