I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Everclear isn't food dammit
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
