I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
