Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize