Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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