I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
so much tequila, so little girl.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
