So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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