you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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