i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
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Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
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I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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