The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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