worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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