Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
