Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
