I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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