Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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