Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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