I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
