why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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