I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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