I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
