so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Brb crying the tears of my youth
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
