Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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