kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
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I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
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So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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