Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Boobs are out for the taking
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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