pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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