don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
