i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
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She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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