I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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