Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize