You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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