If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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