found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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