Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
