she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
