i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
