You can't special order awesome
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
