I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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