I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
