come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
