I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
