I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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