bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
