is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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