You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
They left me at home... I'm a liability
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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