I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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