fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
