At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
