I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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