I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
