Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
