..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
