Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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