So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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