So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize