I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I will pee on everything he values.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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