I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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