he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
