we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
