I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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