I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
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I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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