Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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