Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
only if we run a train.
done.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
