Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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