You just made me feel so damn special
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
