wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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