good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
